This might be more of a rant than a website. But I’m fucking fed up.

I’ve worked with Solarwinds for years. Actual years of my life spent learning their architecture, systems, everything. And I’m fed up. They just don’t care about the little guy. It’s just another example of this same BULLSHIT. I’ve been holding this in for a while, but I can’t anymore. SolarWinds is a goddamn nightmare. Every single time I deal with them, it feels like a new way to light money on fire. And the worst part? They know it. They know they’ve got a stranglehold on big contracts and IT departments that are too deep in to crawl back out. This isn’t just overpriced software. This is an extortion racket wearing an IT badge.

Every year, like clockwork, I get the “renewal conversation.” And every year, the price has gone up, sometimes by thousands, without a single new feature to justify it. And the reps? Oh, they smile like they’re doing me a favor.

You can practically hear the smug through the phone. “We’ve added value,” they say. No, you added a decimal point. You jacked the price up and hoped no one would have the energy to fight you.

And when you do push back, they act like you’re the asshole for not wanting to pay double for the same broken shit you’ve been dealing with for years.

I’m done pretending this is normal.

It’s a dumpster fire

Getting support from SolarWinds is like filing taxes during a house fire. Nobody gives a shit about your actual problem. You open a ticket, it disappears into the void, and three days later, some rep emails you with a copy-pasted paragraph that doesn’t even answer your question.

And when you call them on it? Suddenly it’s your environment’s fault. Or your configuration. Or, you guessed it, you’re missing a module that costs another five grand a year.

The entire thing is built to wear you down until you give up and write a bigger check. It’s not incompetence. It’s design.

They Don’t Give a Shit About Us

You can tell. Every part of SolarWinds screams “we don’t care.” The license management system makes DMV lines look efficient.

They’re too busy chasing enterprise whales to give two shits about anyone actually using their product on the ground. The engineers, the network admins, the people keeping everything online,they’re collateral damage.

And let’s be honest: the security history speaks for itself. If another company had that kind of track record, they’d be laughed out of the industry. But SolarWinds? Nah. They just keep cashing checks.

Most of the competition isn’t any better

I wanted to switch. Jesus christ, I’ve wanted to switch for so long. But everyone has the same issues: Data Dog, Paessler PRTG, Solarwinds. Perpetual licensing, bloat, absolute detachment from reality. I feel like an insane person wanting to just have something that works. Something that doesn’t make me feel absolutely quesy every time I look at the pricetag. I love a big budget, as much as the next guy. But HOW MUCH OF IT NEEDS TO BE NETWORK MONITORING? It’s absurd. Absolutely fucking absurd.

It Shouldn’t Be This Hard

Network monitoring shouldn’t feel like signing a hostage contract. It shouldn’t feel like begging for permission to use the thing you already paid for. And it damn sure shouldn’t cost what they’re charging.

They’ve built this twisted little ecosystem where everything’s just broken enough to keep you dependent, but never fixed enough to be worth what you’re paying.

I am so goddamn tired of it.

This isn’t a “hot take.” This is burnout talking. This is years of renewal calls, pointless tickets, little bullshit upgrades that don’t improve my quality of life, and licensing traps that make you want to scream.

If you’re still in the SolarWinds ecosystem, GET OUT. Holy hell… I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.